BUT. I am going to say them anyway. Because sometimes beginning runners need a little loving too. Some of us don't like getting up at the buttcrack of dawn to run. Four miles isn't an easy day for everybody by any stretch of the imagination. Sometimes you need some help getting through it.
My (April)Fool('s) Proof Guide to Running
Step One: Sit on the couch on Twitter, contemplating the fact that you could theoretically do a four mile run before your dance performance that evening. Map out some runs, go back and forth about the weather, but eventually get up and go after your boyfriend suggests that you might as well.
Lesson: Hold yourself accountable. You'll feel lousy if you don't listen.
Plus your friends can boost your ego. :) |
Step Two: Assemble your running playlist, outfit, and locate a place on your body for your keys. It is important to note that at this point in the process, you should pick a song that really motivates you and start listening to it.
Lesson: Music is your friend.
Step Three: Actually enjoy this running thing as you head out the door. GPS signal found, weather is sunny, awesome.
Lesson: Just do it.
I love you, Nike. |
Step Four: Realize about half way into your run (at the turnaround point) that your stomach is ready to explode and you would love to double over in pain. Look at the river instead. Take pictures of said river. It doesn't matter that your phone deleted them. It's the thought that counts.
Lesson: Distractions, distractions, distractions.
Step Five: I NEED TO STOP RUNNING. Put that song back on your iPod. Listen to it four hundred times if you have to. Just keep running. You will be lame if you stop running to this song. This is your jam.
Lesson: I am becoming Young the Giant's biggest fan.
Step Six: "You can stop running as soon as you're up this hill." "You might as well go down it now." "You cannot be passed by this girl who has an outfit that you really wish you could afford right now with brighter colors. KEEP RUNNING." "Go to the bridge." "No, not that bridge. The NEXT bridge." "Run up the steps, you ain't done yet!"
Lesson: It is more than okay to talk to yourself. It's all about the mental games my dear.
Step Seven: Walk into your apartment complex with swag and nod at the security guard. He knows you're awesome too. Your red face and sweaty hair definitely show it.
Lesson: Running feels good. And swagtastic?
Thanks for the swag definition, Pinterest. |
Step Eight: Go boss out whatever else you need to do for the day. Remember, you've got swag now.
Lesson: Endorphin highs are REAL.
What are your tricks for getting through a run? Any lessons learned that I missed? I'm sure they're out there. :)
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