So this is a lot for myself, and I promise that I'll get back to updating you on my life with lots of pretty pictures and witty comments soon. But because I'm an emotional slob, I need to share this to. Or rather, I want to share this. It's been about a month in to my study abroad experience, so I think it's about time I introduce you to Part I of my feeeeelings. I'll do it every month, maybe if I feel like it.
Studying abroad so far has been awesome, as I'm sure you know by my blog. I'm having a great time, but I am wrestling so badly with homesickness. Now, I'm a pretty good wrestler, but I seem to be losing this one hardcore. So I'mma make this list. It's not organized at all. This is stream of consciousness, baby. James Joyce. (AP English, holla.) Maybe it'll make me feel better. Maybe not. But at least you'll know where I'm at and that Rome is NOT all pasta and gelato.
Even though a lot of it is.
You Will Eat and Cook A Lot: Now, this has been really exciting for me, because I love love love cooking. And I definitely have learned to shop the markets and shop with the seasons (I mean. It's only been hot but whatever.) more than I have at home. Which is really cool, because that's one thing I wanted to improve about my life. I don't really eat out a lot because I don't want to go broke. But I love cooking, and it's made my days so far coming back and cooking dinner. Because I'm a nerd. And a sap for that. BUT I MISS FALL BAKING. I keep seeing pumpkin flavored things on the internet and I literally ache for it. But. I'll be back for Christmas! Otherwise I would lose it.
This pizza we made doesn't make me feel so bad.
Italian is Beautiful: I love the language, I really do. I have wanted to learn Italian for forever and a day. And I'm learning it! But I HATE when I can't say what I mean. I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. It gets me so frustrated and I just wish I wasn't the equivalent of a five year old. I'm getting there. I have to be patient. But I'm not. Maybe that's my fault. Okay. That is my fault.
There is No Kinesiology or Theater Here for Me: Big shocker, right? English, Anthropology, Art History, and Italian. That's totally not what I am. Not what I DO. And I have all these huge plans and dreams with what I want to do with my life (saaaappy) and now I just feel stuck here. I want to do what I want. Not this anymore. They aren't awful. But like. BAH. I did this on purpose and I thought I could handle it. I can't as well as I thought, apparently.
Money Stresses Me Out: This conversion thing makes me feel like I am flushing my money down the toilet. I'm going to have loans out my butt when I get back and graduate.
I'm Stuck in Pseudo-Vacation-School-Land: I'm in Rome. Like. Is this real? At all? I'm going to different countries and I'm headed to Florence tomorrow. I'm one of the luckiest people in the whole wide world. But school just freaks me out. I do my reading for the most part, but it's weird. Not bad. Just weird. And toying with my emotions. Tease.
JDSDubs teaching away. Me being sidetracked.
Communication is HARD: Not only from Italy to the United States, oh no. While that's nearly impossible, over here is tough too. Yes I have a cell phone, but it costs me money and I just miss my unlimited text Verizon plan and my purple phone. I'm shallow and materialistic. Sure. But I'm a social being. Sorry. I keep getting left out of the loop and it just drives me nuts. Because I'm needy and self-centered. SO SUE ME.
I Miss Philadelphia Sports: I miss them all. Temple, the Eagles, the PHILS. Jesus. This is a lot harder than I thought. If I were missing Super Bowl Sunday, I'd be strangling somebody. The playoffs/World Series are enough.
Unbelievable pride in my sports teams.
I Just Want to Run: I don't want to worry about getting lost. Or getting my stuff stolen. I just want to run. I just want to go to the gym. I want a yoga mat at the very least so my apartment floor doesn't bruise up my back.
Making Friends is Hard: To all of my friends back home, YOU. SUCK. You are all so amazing I have set my standards WAY beyond what they should be. If they don't laugh at the same things or accept my antics straight off the bat, I just don't care. How awful is that?? I am an awful human being. And that's just the way I am. But I love my friends. And I have great ones here, don't get me wrong. BUT WHY CAN'T WE BE ALL TOGETHER!? I have separation anxiety.
My life does, indeed, suck without you.
Travel Buddies Save Your Life: It's really nice when you have somebody that's along on your trip that wants the same thing out of a study abroad experience as you do. And it can be anybody, I'm not just saying the boyfriend title is a special help. Even though it is. That's not what I'm focusing on. There seems to be a million people milling about and going in different directions and it's just nice when you want to do something else and somebody else wants to do that something else. It's nice. Fine. Hate me.
Dancing Isn't the Same: Whine. I'm rooted in Philly. Complain. I miss it. Angst. End of that story.
SO PRECIOUS. SO MUCH LOVE.
Rest Days Can Save Your Life: Anybody that's met me for more than twenty minutes probably knows that I get cranky when I am (a) tired, (b) hungry or (c) sick. Today I was all three of those things at once. RIGHT? I bet you would have run in the opposite direction. Please, ladies and gentlemen, take your rest days. As with running, they will cause you less pain and suffering.
Christmas is a TEASE: I want it. I want it now. I guess this isn't only studying abroad. But the weather here hasn't changed at all. And I don't even have Halloween or Thanksgiving to hold me over this year. OOF. This is a LONG HAUL, people. I kind of can't wait for all things winter. And ice skating. And snow. And warmth. And hot chocolate. And music. And Christmas with my sister. And the princesses. And my friends. And my family. And my family. And my family. (I think that's all the families?)
There's Christmas music playing.
Prancer misses her reindeer.
So. I think I might have whined enough, yes? I'm sure you all want to slap me in the face, and maybe it's justified. It probably is justified.
BUT IT'S THE WAY I FEEL AND MY I FEEL STATEMENTS MEAN IT IS VALIDATED.
So, Philly, I miss ya. And everybody there. Even that one padiddle I called that one time which was not the classiest thing I've ever done in my life.
I'm such a whiner. Shut up.
Tomorrow I leave for Florence. Then when I get back, we should return to normal blogging as usual.
Oh. Trivia question. How do you know when you've watched too much How I Met Your Mother?
This is probably disrespectful.
How about when your Art History professor describes the ancient She-Wolf statue of Rome as the Roman "Liberty Bell," and so you decide to take a picture pretending to lick it. Just like Ted and Barney.
Come on guys. I have a life.
And no pictures? Did you actually believe me?